Push Pull Theory

The problem is that resorting to this strategy to stimulate interest is a relationship killer.

What is the Push Pull Technique?

This research examined the association between relationship satisfaction and later breakup status, focusing on the temporal changes in satisfaction ratings of individuals in newly formed dating relationships. Individuals with fluctuating levels of satisfaction also reported relatively lower commitment. Do fluctuations in perceived partner commitment undermine dating relationships? Arriaga, Reed, Goodfriend, Agnew, , confirmed the results:. Individuals whose perceptions of partner commitment fluctuate over time were more likely to be in a relationship that eventually ended than were individuals whose perceptions remained relatively steady.

For individuals in recently initiated relationships, the association of fluctuation in perceived partner commitment with later breakup was significant regardless of the initial level of perceived partner commitment or the trend, and for all participants, it remained significant. The attraction is built on anxiety and a scarcity mindset, neither of which is conducive to trust or connection.


The Push-Pull Relationship

If a guy uses push-pull on you, the relationship is already over. You send her a flirty text. For like two days. And this is what women consider a challenge. Most guys in that last situation are going to not just hold her on the couch - but hold on for dear life.

Don’t Ever Be Afraid to Challenge a Woman - On Anything

Pawing and groping and begging her to stay. Nobody has ever asked her to leave before feeling her up! Move forward… back off.

For instance, apply the technique during your first conversation with her when you introduce yourself. Try giving her a compliment and then say something that slightly insulting. Now, there is a fine balance between complimenting and insulting so use that example cautiously. What you need to remember with the push-pull technique is that smiling throughout tells her that you are joking. You will be very successful if you can subconsciously push her away by consistently teasing her while also pulling her in with compliments.

Tell her they suck.

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And you have to just throw that line of thinking out the window. Believe me - nobody calls her on her shit, gives her a negative compliment, challenges her, etc.

Push-Pull flirting technique To impress any girl

Remember - The principle of push and pull technique is to control her emotions. Be nice with her - pull- then right after it demonstrate indifference - push.

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Establish a physical contact, touch her, show your interest, then move away a bit, and be stand off-ish. This makes you extremely attractive to her. Women like to be persuaded. Rising stress-hormones cause us to become hyper-aware of the source of our stress.

The Push-Pull Relationship | HuffPost

Therefore you are likely to focus more on an ambivalent partner. However, when your brain is activated in this way it shows similar activity to cocaine addicts in MRI scans. Dr Helen Fisher has done much on this research and you will find her famous TED talk on this subject in the Videos section. This highlights how even a securely attached person can be negatively effect by the ambivalent partner.

It also helps explain why its so difficult to walk away from this toxic situation and why you often feel like you are going crazy! How to break the cycle. If you stay in this pattern you will not be able to experience a satisfying intimate relationship.

Do not believe that you are needy, wrong or not worthy of a stable relationship. Real strength is the ability to maintain contact and intimacy. When first meeting someone get to know them slowly. Find out what they learnt about themselves from previous relationships and the experience they had with their parents in childhood. Ask them if they have noticed the pattern and if they know what might be causing it. If they say they do not want a relationship then do not think you can hang around for them to change their mind. If they say they are unsure what they want, then start dating other people and take your focus off them.

They are mostly using the relationship as an ego boost and may display strong traits of narcissism.

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If they reveal an inner conflict, guilt or concern then they may have the capacity to change. You must be both willing to put in the work to understand what each of your fears are and work on ways to help each other overcome them.